Read and become inspired by David Brooks and Sheryl Sandberg:
‘To Have a Fulfilling Life You Have to Make Promises’ by David Brooks, columnist and author, who explains to Penn’s Class of 2016 why the measure of our lives depends on how well we commit.
‘The Lessons that I Only Learned in Death’ by Sheryl Sandberg, Facebook’s COO, who shares with UC-Berkeley’s Class of 2016, lessons in life and loss.
“So I’m making an announcement. I’m not leaning in because I want to be with my kids during the day. But something else, too. I want to garden. Every day. And I want to curl up on the sofa with my dog in my lap and read. I want to get good at cooking with rhubarb because we grow so much of it. I want to be home for the blackberries because they only come one week of every year.” – Penelope Trunk
Learn more about why Sandberg is now saying it is okay for single moms not to “lean in” and Penolope Trunk’s take on it. Click here to read more.
“Too often we take the easy and often cowardly option of using email or text
messaging to avoid the emotional discomfort of a real time conversation.”
– Forbes Magazine, Margie Warrell
A client recently shared he missed a team meeting and received a scathing email from his colleague. Admittedly he was overwhelmed with budget planning, performance reviews, and hiring new team members – but none the less, an honest mistake – something he had never done before. The email was direct and accusatory, catching him off guard and as a result he became triggered – heart pounding, mind racing, and distracted for the rest of the day.
Another executive was berated in an email which was cc’d to the rest of her team. As it turned out the mistake wasn’t even hers. She confronted the sender, he apologized, and sent a revised email to her team.
Before you send “that” email – couple suggestions:
“Words are singularly the most powerful force available to humanity…Words have energy and power to help,to heal, to hinder, to hurt, to harm, to humiliate and to humble.”
– Yehuda Berg
This blog is part of a Mindful Leadership series: A mindful leader is someone who brings out the best in one’s self and others by showing up present, grounded, and compassonate in all situations – especially challenging ones.
In the eyes of Great Compassion, there is no separation between subject and object, no separate self. If a cruel and violent person disembowels you, you can smile and look at him with love. It is his upbringing, his situation, and his ignorance that cause him to act so mindlessly.
– Thich Nhat Hanh, “Great Compassion”
Written by Stephen Parker, Chief Learning Officer and Global Head of Talent Management, consulting firm – A.T. Kearney
The senior partners of A.T. Kearney, the consulting firm where I work, are currently progressing through a learning experience we call Expanding Horizons. Much that we ask participants to do in the program strikes them as odd.
We may, for example, ask our highly respected partners to deliver a bit of improv comedy. Tell a deeply revealing story. Or work in a small group to compose and then perform an original song. Their first reaction is often: “Seriously?” It’s fascinating to watch what happens next.
In one activity we ask for a volunteer to conduct a live string quartet, whose members have just explained that it took years of practice for them to master playing together. Typically, the first volunteer steps forward only after some coaxing, then conducts the quartet rather timidly, which elicits a few self-conscious giggles from the observing co-participants. But one time, when we asked for that first volunteer, a partner immediately sprang to her feet and commenced conducting with remarkable vigor, her arms waving and long hair flying about. Her fellow participants seemed a bit startled at first (as was I), but soon the whole group became more emotive and expressive, and before long most were also moving with the music. The conductors who followed that bold first volunteer were far less inhibited than we had come to expect, and put noticeably more of themselves into conducting.
This was a subtle but brilliant example of the phenomenon described by Derek Sivers in his fascinating video, First Follower: Leadership Lessons From The Dancing Guy, which vividly illustrates that to be seen doing a behavior is the most powerful way for leaders to earn followers – particularly when followers must summon some courage to do what the leader wants. Further, the first few followers who emulate a bold behavior are themselves leaders, every bit as vital to initiating a collective movement. Of course, one learns such truths even more powerfully through experience than observation. Hence, the array of unfamiliar activities that comprise Expanding Horizons.
It is human nature to want to master something before you dare to be observed doing it and thus risk being judged a failure. Visibly stepping out of one’s comfort zone can be particularly challenging for accomplished experts, such as our senior partners, who are respected and even revered in their field. As their effectiveness is built on their credibility, they may avoid trying something new while anyone is watching. But at what cost?
At A.T. Kearney, the value our partners can deliver extends well beyond the secure environs of their demonstrable expertise. When they think of bold alternatives, will they risk voicing them? Will they challenge clients with the important but dangerously provocative question, or keep it to themselves? And when they see someone else try something bold and possibly powerful in plain view of the world, will they dare to be the first to follow? These are among the more fundamental questions Expanding Horizons asks our partners to explore in their roles as trusted advisors and firm leaders.
If you are a professional or executive who leads only with the proven parts of yourself, then you are probably delivering far less value than you could actually offer. Worse still, you are depriving yourself of fully understanding who your “best self” truly is. So ask yourself:
Stephen Parker is the first Chief Learning Officer and Global Head of Talent Management with the consulting firm A.T. Kearney where he applies his deep experience as a leadership consultant and executive coach to help his colleagues worldwide discover and apply the very best of themselves. Stephen, recently profiled in Chief Learning Officer, has advised CEOs across many industries including pharmaceuticals, technology, and consumer goods, and has designed and led multi-year leadership and culture projects for global corporations. He previously served as President of a boutique leadership consulting firm in Washington, DC and founded the Global Consulting Group for BlessingWhite, an international leadership development firm. Stephen is based in New York City and lives in Princeton, NJ.
Today is Martin Luther King Jr. Day, a reminder to honor the life of a man who fought for civil rights. His vision of a world where black Americans would have the same rights as whites was a vision he paid the highest price for. In a speech he gave at New York University in 1961 he said:
“Human progress is neither automatic nor inevitable . . . Every step toward the goal of justice requires sacrifice, suffering, and struggle; the tireless exertions and passionate concern of dedicated individuals.”