“The world needs leaders with unbridled emotional intelligence, shameless compassion, and abundant communication skills.”

– Elizabeth Lesser, Omega Institute Cofounder

“Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without.”

– Confucius

My client recently shared with me that he felt overwhelmed and exhausted – that his “all or nothing” approach was getting in the way of finalizing slides for an upcoming presentation to the CFO.

During our conversation, my client talked about how he was spending too much time writing and rewriting his power point slides to achieve a perfect outcome– that is a “perfect” presentation.

He realized it was time to let go. Other important tasks were becoming bottlenecked and his tendency towards perfection was now creating a time management issue.

When does striving for perfection get in our way – and good is simply good enough?

Strategies for achieving results without getting bogged down by perfection:

1. What am I trying to achieve?
2. What are my priorities?
3. Am I able to delegate in this situation? Remember delegation is an opportunity for your direct reports to develop their own abilities as well as give you time to be more strategic and show up as a leader.
4. What is the most efficient use of my time to achieve these results? One client who was hyper focused on one project, listed out his other projects and within five minutes he decided how much time to spend on each project and where to let go. As a result, he became more efficient, centered, and relaxed.
5. How can I self-check to make sure that I’m not getting caught up in my perfectionistic tendencies? Is there someone I trust who can help me keep perspective?
6. How might humor help me gently acknowledge my perfectionist tendencies and get back on track to achieving a more realistic, efficient outcome?

Remember perfection is an illusion, do your best, and check in with someone you trust (the reality check) to know when it’s time to keep going and when it’s time to let go. Good luck!

Take a few minutes to enjoy and be inspired by Louie Schwartzberg’s gorgeous TED video. His stunning time-lapse photography, accompanied by powerful words from Benedictine monk Brother David Steindl-Rast, serves as a meditation on being grateful for every day. I personally love the meditation that starts at 4.25.

CLICK HERE TO VIEW

Learn to selectively water the postive seeds and flowers in you by attending to them. There are enough weeds. You don’t have to encourage them.

– Thomas Bien

“I have written 11 books, but each time I think, ‘Uh oh, they’re going to find out now. I’ve run a game on everybody, and they’re going to find me out.'” — Maya Angelou

A common theme many clients share with me is “I’m in this senior leadership role but I feel like a fake. I just don’t know how I got here.”  One successful executive told me she felt like an actor. When I asked another high profile leader how she got there, she replied, “dumb luck, I guess.”

So what is going on? And why do so many of us feel like frauds, often hearing the voice in our head, our inner critic, that says, “go home, you’re not good enough or smart enough to be here.“

It’s more common than you think. In 1978 two clinical psychologists, Clance and Imes, coined the term impostor syndrome, which is an experience shared by many high-achievers who are fearful of being exposed as frauds and feel success is the result of luck. Just about everyone experiences it.

Misery Loves Company (and that’s okay)
Recognize other successful people share the same exact feeling. But just because others experience it doesn’t mean you’re off the hook. It’s up to you to own it and figure out what you need to do to tame the voice in your head.

How to Deal with the Impostor Syndrome

Self-compassion: Be gentle and kind toward yourself. I often ask clients – what would you say to your good friend, daughter, or husband in this situation? What words of encouragement would you offer them?

Review your past successes: Take stock of your achievements. One client visits her memory box where she kept records of her past accomplishments when she needs to lift her spirits and feel more confident.

Reality test: Find someone you trust, like a mentor, good friend, or colleague to share your feelings of inadequacy with who can be both objective and supportive.

Meditate: Focus on your breath and when you hear that little (or big!) voice in your head that says, “I’m not good enough,” gently tell it to go away. Remember, just because you hear it, doesn’t mean it’s true – you don’t have to listen to all your thoughts, you choose which ones have meaning.

Experience helps: Recognize that your confidence will grow with time.

Self-care is never a selfish act –
it is simply good stewardship of the only gift I have,
the gift I was put on earth to offer others.

Anytime we can listen to true self and give the care it requires,
we do it not only for ourselves,
but for the many others whose lives we touch.

– Parker Palmer