What happens when there is someone you must engage with on a regular basis (whether at work, in your community, or your family) who you don’t necessarily connect with or like (yet)? How do you get on board when you don’t feel 100% inspired by the person who has been selected to lead your business, organization, or community?
This past week, two leaders, whom I deeply respect and admire, shared stories of how they are trying to find ways to connect with their leaders whom they don’t necessarily like (yet). One leader discussed his struggle with a colleague because of the colleague’s abrasive style; ironically this person is someone his wife respected so he was trying to trust his wife’s opinion. The other leader described his struggle as a possible clash between his colleague’s cultural background with his own upbringing so he was focused on understanding his supervisor’s country of origin.
Both leaders also shared that some of the colleagues they were deeply connected to now were people who they didn’t necessarily connect with at first. However, over time and through shared experiences they were able to overlook, and sometimes even embrace differences to achieve a meaningful vision and outcome for the organization.
The questions we explored in client coaching sessions were:
- How do we balance putting our egos aside while still trusting our feelings and intuitive hits, in service of achieving a meaningful vision?
- Is it possible to shift the experience from one of disconnection to one of connection by showing up differently and finding meaningful ways to cultivate trust in order to develop a better, possibly more meaningful relationship?
- Do strong relationships develop because of a connection-at-first (like love at first sight) or do they develop over time based on a shared vision and set of meaningful and trustworthy experiences?
- How much time is needed to solidify the relationship?
- When do we throw in the towel and say, This isn’t going to work. It’s time for me to honor my well-being, quit, and find another situation that better suits my personal values and needs?
Click here for the full worksheet that offers additional thought questions to reflect and journal on and even discuss with a good friend that might address the struggle of initial disconnection
What Batiste said in his Grammy acceptance speech ….
I believe this to my core, there is no best musician, best artist, best dancer, best actor, the creative arts are subjective and they reach people at a point in their lives when they need it most.
It’s like a song or an album is made and it almost has a radar to find the person when they need it the most.
I mean, man. I like to thank God. I just put my head down and I work on the craft every day. I love music. I’ve been playing since I was a little boy.
It’s more than entertainment for me, it’s a spiritual practice.
Every single artist that was nominated in this category I actually love and have had experiences, out of body experiences, with your music. I honor you.
And this is for real artists, real musicians. Let’s just keep going. Be you.
That’s it. I love you even if I don’t know you.
– Jon Batiste