Happy 2023! May you enjoy the new year with good health, a feeling of peace, and many good times ahead!

This month I want to share the skill of cultivating joy, the idea in which joy is a skill, not a fixed, factory setting. We can benefit from establishing daily, easy-to-do, practical practices to facilitate more happiness in our lives. So, I’m sharing a recent executive’s story, hoping it may inspire you to cultivate more joy in the upcoming year.

After the Thanksgiving holiday, a client shared she wanted to cultivate more internal joy and bring more positive energy to others; she was feeling stuck and not so happy. The daily news around the world was not so positive, the days were getting shorter, darker, and colder, and she was feeling a bit grim. She also sensed others were struggling. She wanted to learn how to shift her mindset to be happier through practices which encouraged internal reflection, keeping a healthy perspective, and mental reframing versus some of the external factors which felt fleeting and not always in her control. Her goal was to be in a better state of mind by the start of 2023.

In her coaching engagement, we began by evaluating how she spent her time, what activities brought her joy, and what activities drained her. She discovered the first step was to think of joy as a leadership skill to be develop, not just something you have or don’t have. She also made the connection that when she was happier, she felt more confident. So, in her coaching plan, under the category of “executive presence,” she made a commitment to enhancing her ability to find joy in her life, radiate positive energy, and show up with a spirit of confidence and happiness for herself and others.

I’m happy to share that this leader reached her goal and felt more confident and joyful by implementing a few new activities: she meditated each morning for ten minutes during the weekdays, journaled each morning about twenty things she was grateful for and why, took short walks during the week to get outside and enjoy daylight, took longer walks with her dog in nature on the weekends, and expressed gratitude to her colleagues during the work week. And when she could, she made a concerted effort to spend more time with individuals who provided more positive energy and less time with individuals who drained her.

She learned cultivating joy is a skill in which positive and negative energy is contagious, and she is a better leader when she showed up with a spirit of confidence and happiness. When she showed up with this enhanced executive presence, she inspired and motivated others to also be happier, more energetic, and more productive.

Resources on Cultivating Joy

• Express Gratitude. Journal. 15 minutes of Cardio Exercise. Meditate. The Two Minute Note. Click here to learn more about ways to cultivate gratitude and joy by Shawn Achor, a Harvard-educated happiness researcher who works with Fortune 100 companies and author of several books including Big Potential and The Happiness Advantage.
• Rewire Your Inborn Negativity Bias. Yes, it’s a bit like brainwashing – out with the old and in with the new. Click here to learn more about how to meditate, journal, or pray with phrases to help you cultivate more joy. Feel free to adapt and make the worksheet your own.
• Identify Your Energy Boosters and Drainers. Click here for a worksheet to learn more about emotional intelligence and activities that give you or drain your energy.
• FREE CHALLENGE! SIGN UP BY JANUARY 9TH: Train Your Mind and Heart to be Happier with His Holiness the Dalai Lama. Click here to join The Dalai Lama’s Guide to Happiness Challenge on Ten Percent Happier. The challenge is free and begins on January 9 and ends on January 19, 2023.

“The ROI on simply saying “thank you” goes a long way – probably much
farther than you think.”
  – Francesca Gino of Harvard Business School

An executive shared that she typically can tell the level (seniority) of the individual she is working with by whether they express gratitude. That when she emails useful information to her CEO and other senior-level leaders, she usually receives a brief acknowledgement in the form of a short thank you reply email with a “t.u.” or 😊. She has observed that most of her junior clients do not acknowledge emails or say thank you.

In our chaotic, busy lives, many people overlook the importance of expressing gratitude. I’m not sure people do things in search of a thank you but a lack of expressed gratitude might make it less compelling for someone to go above and beyond for you in the future.

Good reasons to say thank you:

• Gratitude is an important leadership quality
• Expressing gratitude (or not) says something about who you are
• A meaningful way to differentiate yourself among others
• Shows you appreciate and respect the other person
• Generates positive feelings for yourself and the other person; such an easy way to make the world a better place
• Sets you up to receive the best from the other person
• Last, but not least, it’s the right thing to do

For more information and research read The Power of ‘Thanks’ by Francesca Gino of Harvard Business School

Happy Spring!

What happens when there is someone you must engage with on a regular basis (whether at work, in your community, or your family) who you don’t necessarily connect with or like (yet)? How do you get on board when you don’t feel 100% inspired by the person who has been selected to lead your business, organization, or community?

This past week, two leaders, whom I deeply respect and admire, shared stories of how they are trying to find ways to connect with their leaders whom they don’t necessarily like (yet). One leader discussed his struggle with a colleague because of the colleague’s abrasive style; ironically this person is someone his wife respected so he was trying to trust his wife’s opinion. The other leader described his struggle as a possible clash between his colleague’s cultural background with his own upbringing so he was focused on understanding his supervisor’s country of origin.

Both leaders also shared that some of the colleagues they were deeply connected to now were people who they didn’t necessarily connect with at first. However, over time and through shared experiences they were able to overlook, and sometimes even embrace differences to achieve a meaningful vision and outcome for the organization.

The questions we explored in client coaching sessions were:

• How do we balance putting our egos aside while still trusting our feelings and intuitive hits, in service of achieving a meaningful vision?
• Is it possible to shift the experience from one of disconnection to one of connection by showing up differently and finding meaningful ways to cultivate trust in order to develop a better, possibly more meaningful relationship?
• Do strong relationships develop because of a connection-at-first (like love at first sight) or do they develop over time based on a shared vision and set of meaningful and trustworthy experiences?
• How much time is needed to solidify the relationship?
• When do we throw in the towel and say, This isn’t going to work. It’s time for me to honor my well-being, quit, and find another situation that better suits my personal values and needs?

Click here for the full worksheet that offers additional thought questions to reflect and journal on and even discuss with a good friend that might address the struggle of initial disconnection

Monthly Favorite

Click here to watch Jon Batiste’s acceptance speech for We Are, the 2022 Grammy’s album of the year award (three minutes). WOW! Click here to listen to one of my favorite Batiste songs FREEDOM.

What Batiste said in his Grammy acceptance speech ….

I believe this to my core, there is no best musician, best artist, best dancer, best actor, the creative arts are subjective and they reach people at a point in their lives when they need it most.

It’s like a song or an album is made and it almost has a radar to find the person when they need it the most.

I mean, man. I like to thank God. I just put my head down and I work on the craft every day. I love music. I’ve been playing since I was a little boy.

It’s more than entertainment for me, it’s a spiritual practice.

Every single artist that was nominated in this category I actually love and have had experiences, out of body experiences, with your music. I honor you.

And this is for real artists, real musicians. Let’s just keep going. Be you.

That’s it. I love you even if I don’t know you.

– Jon Batiste