Given the current global climate — including war, ongoing conflicts, geopolitical tensions, divisive politics, and economic uncertainty — many of my clients (and I) are experiencing a kind of emotional heaviness. A recurring theme has emerged: a need to make peace and practice forgiveness — with the world, with our leaders, our colleagues, our family members, and sometimes even with ourselves.
Keep in mind, forgiveness is often a slow and painful process; we do it for ourselves, not the other person. We forgive, but we don’t forget; we don’t condone bad behavior. Forgiveness allows us to take control of our own destiny, understand that those in pain often cause pain, accept what is, let go of emotional suffering, and ultimately show up lighter and freer. This emotional clarity and release are essential for executive leaders who strive to maintain composure, presence, and energy — especially when navigating high-pressure or emotionally charged situations.
A recent episode of NPR’s Fresh Air, featuring painter Titus Kaphar, titled “Exhibiting Forgiveness,” offered a powerful reflection on what it truly means to forgive. Several key themes stood out:
- Forgiveness and reconciliation are not the same, even though we often treat them as interchangeable.
- You can forgive without continuing the relationship; reconciliation is optional.
- Forgiveness is primarily about us, not about the other person.
- It allows us to unburden ourselves — to say, “I’m not carrying this anymore. It’s too heavy. I’m done with it.”
- Forgiveness requires the renegotiation of boundaries — deciding what you will and will not allow going forward.
Additional Resources on Forgiveness
- Watch the film Exhibiting Forgiveness (R, 2024, 1h 57m) on your favorite streaming service — included with Hulu membership or available for rental elsewhere.
- Click here to listen to the painter Titus Kaphar on Exhibiting Forgiveness on NPR’s Fresh Air podcast with Terry Gross (43 minutes).
- Click here to listen to and practice a forgiveness meditation with Norman Fischer, a client and personal favorite (18 minutes).
- Click here to download a worksheet to help you establish a forgiveness practice through meditation or journaling.
- Click here to watch and reflect on Jack Kornfield’s 12 Principles of Forgiveness (14 minutes).
- Click here to read How to Show Up Cheerful During Tough Times, which includes many resources for cultivating and sustaining joy.