“It’s not a matter of letting go – you would if you could. Instead of ‘Let it go,’ we should probably say, ‘Let it be.'” – Jon Kabat-Zinn

Watch this YouTube video and learn about how Jon Kabat-Zinn defines mindfulness.

Jon Kabat-Zinn, PhD, is internationally known for his work as a scientist, writer, and meditation teacher engaged in bringing mindfulness into the mainstream of medicine and society.

“As a writer and Zen practitioner I hear myself extolling the virtues of patience when I realize that while patience is absolutely necessary, impatience is also necessary . . . The tension that exists between patience and impatience is so fertile. That’s where the energy comes from.”
– Ruth Ozeki, “Memories in the Mirror”

“I just want to do my job, I don’t want to deal with workplace politics.” – every executive coaching client

I have never heard a client say they want to be more political – but it is connected to leading for greater influence and impact  – so might there another way to think about workplace politics?

Think “Impact” versus “Need to Be Right”
Most executives I work with are at a stage in their leadership where their role is more about “how” they show up versus “what” they do. This often means letting go of being right – being the smartest person in the room – in order to strengthen relationships for greater influence and impact to the business.

Many of my clients use the following framework (thinking through and writing down their thoughts) before a meeting:

1. How do I want to “Show Up? What are 3 – 5 things I would like to hear my colleagues say about me after the meeting? (e.g., I listened, remained calm, was thoughtful in my responses, and brought a sense of humor to the meeting).
2. What do I want? What is my goal for this meeting?
3. What does the other person want? What does a successful meeting look like from my colleague’s point of view?
4. What is best for the relationship? What should I say or do in order to further enhance the relationship and lead to more trust?
5. What is best for the business?  What might I be willing to agree to – or let go of – in the short-term in order to achieve greater long-term influence and impact to the business?
6. How do I minimize drama? What do I need to refrain from saying that might trigger the other person and make them feel defensive?
7. How do I remain calm? What could the other person say that might make me feel defensive? How will I prepare myself for the meeting and what will I do so I don’t go into reactive mode? If I do get triggered, how will I get centered again (e.g., suggest coffee or bathroom break).

This blog is part of a Mindful Leadership series: A mindful leader is someone who brings out the best in one’s self and others by showing up present, grounded, and compassonate in all situations – especially challenging ones.

Read and become inspired by David Brooks and Sheryl Sandberg:

‘To Have a Fulfilling Life You Have to Make Promises’ by David Brooks, columnist and author, who explains to Penn’s Class of 2016 why the measure of our lives depends on how well we commit.

‘The Lessons that I Only Learned in Death’ by Sheryl Sandberg, Facebook’s COO, who shares with UC-Berkeley’s Class of 2016, lessons in life and loss.

“So I’m making an announcement. I’m not leaning in because I want to be with my kids during the day. But something else, too. I want to garden. Every day. And I want to curl up on the sofa with my dog in my lap and read. I want to get good at cooking with rhubarb because we grow so much of it. I want to be home for the blackberries because they only come one week of every year.” – Penelope Trunk

Learn more about why Sandberg is now saying it is okay for single moms not to “lean in” and Penolope Trunk’s take on it. Click here to read more.