Blog

The Art of Disappearing

When they say Don’t I know you?
say no.

When they invite you to the party
remember what parties are like
before answering.
Someone is telling you in a loud voice
they once wrote a poem.
Greasy sausage balls on a paper plate.
Then reply.

If they say We should get together
say why?

It’s not that you don’t love them anymore.
You’re trying to remember something
too important to forget.
Trees. The monastery bell at twilight.
Tell them you have a new project.
It will never be finished.

When someone recognizes you in a grocery store
nod briefly and become a cabbage.
When someone you haven’t seen in ten years
appears at the door,
don’t start singing him all your new songs.
You will never catch up.

Walk around feeling like a leaf.
Know you could tumble any second.
Then decide what to do with your time.

  – By Naomi Shihab Nye, from Words Under the Words: Selected Poems

Click through to hear the poem 

Each day that I don’t meditate….
I experience the same problems that I had yesterday.
I feel more addictive.
I’m on Facebook more.
I need things outside of me to be different.
I don’t create anything exciting.
I feel anxious.
I create goals and look into the future as a way to escape pain.
I run out of time more easily.
I see the bad in average situations.

Each day that I do meditate…
I move through and beyond almost every emotional issue I have.
I feel connection and freedom simultaneously.
I lose addictions.
I’m not triggered by others.
I have an idea that might really impact the world.
I don’t take on anything I don’t want to do.
I have no problem saying no.
Life gets really effortless.
I am the goal and life matches me.
My body is healthier.
I sleep really well.
I have way more time.
More becomes accomplished with much less effort.
I see the good in everything.

Celebrating Meditation Month of May!

Celebrating Meditation Month of May!

Jon Kabat-Zinn’s Body Scan Meditation – a great way to become more present and enhance your overall general well being – and very much worth the 45 minute time commitment! Click here for more information

Any time you can go out and keep all of your visual and auditory senses alive—looking above eye level, hearing behind you as well as in front of you—you’re performing meditation in the natural world. You’re poised for any stimulus coming from anywhere. It’s as down-to-earth as you can get and still be up in the sky.

                                                                                                          –James H. Austin

Check out cartoon artist Bob Eckstein’s website!

Recently I coached an executive on how to engage with a senior board member who was known for being rude, verbally abrasive, and overly critical. In particular, my client was concerned about an upcoming board meeting in which he was presenting because this aggressive individual would be attending.

We discussed how a plan of action that included a positive mindset, preparation, and a shift in behavior could go a long way in helping my client show up as his best self.

Here’s what we came up with:

Be prepared: Take the time to prepare yourself for a difficult meeting.  Think through a worst case scenario, explore different strategies for responding, choose one or two, and write it out so you know that it’s there. This will help you be more proactive (versus reactive) in how you engage and show up for this particular situation. By simply preparing for a potentially confrontational conversation, you will be able to remain more confident, grounded, and calm.

Flex your style: Clients often struggle with colleagues who have a more direct and challenging communication style. When communicating with someone who has a direct style – be clear, specific, and to the point. Stick to business by providing facts and figures. Be bright, be brief, be gone.

Use the “Know, Feel, Do” model: What is the content you want them to know? How do you want them to feel? And what’s the call to action? And while this individual may still give you a hard time, at least you’ve done your part walking in with a well thought out and focused message.

Know your strengths: If you’re struggling with confidence (and let’s be honest who isn’t?) take inventory of your natural abilities and accomplishments – write them down and refer to it when you need a boost.

Pause before your react: You don’t need to respond right away. Give yourself time to clear your head: take a deep breath, ground yourself by feeling your feet and touching the floor, and count to ten.

Take the balcony view: Be a third-party observer in your own movie. By having a bit of distance, you will be able to remain more detached and ultimately, show up more confident, grounded, and calm.

Have a heart: While it may feel counterintuitive, having compassion for a difficult individual may help you manage your own triggers and approach the situation a little differently. Someone who shows up rude or abrasive is suffering. Think about how difficult it must be for this person to spend time with him or herself.

Choose curiosity over control: What can you learn from this situation? What new skills are you developing? How will this experience inform how you show up as a leader? In the future, how might you mentor someone else in a similar situation?

Give meditation a chance: A regular meditation practice will improve your mental clarity and reduce the intensity and recovery time of stressful emotional triggers.

Maintain a sense of humor: You might as well have a little fun? Share your story with a funny friend – and have a good laugh about it. What’s the alternative?

Reward yourself: Go ahead, you deserve it! Remember life is to be enjoyed. Once you’ve survived the challenging situation, indulge in self-care, or even a little retail therapy.  A massage or nice meal can replenish and reenergize.