This month, I’m writing about Seven New Rules About Emotions at Work. You might notice that I underlined the word “new”! When I attended Chicago Booth business school from 1990 to 1992, we were taught to keep emotions out of the workplace. Interestingly, I now work as a leadership coach in the Wharton MBA program, where students are not only evaluated on their ability to manage their own emotions but also on their ability to read and manage the emotions of others. What a shift!

The following seven rules on how to manage emotions in the workplace for improved outcomes and reduced burnout are derived from two co-authored books by Liz Fosslien and Mollie West Duffy: “No Hard Feelings: The Secret Power of Embracing Emotions at Work” and “Big Feelings: How to Be Okay When Things Are Not Okay.”

Seven New Rules About Emotions at Work:

1. Be Less Passionate About Your Job: This doesn’t imply having a job that you don’t like or disengaging at work. Instead, it means prioritizing your mental and physical well-being over your job. It’s about finding balance and dedicating time and energy to activities outside of work that bring you joy and purpose. This way, you can come to work refreshed and enthusiastic, rather than feeling overwhelmed and burnt out.

2. Inspire Yourself: This is about autonomy and focusing on what you can control and find meaningful to maintain motivation at work. For leaders, it means establishing clear objectives for your team members and direct reports instead of insisting on strict processes to enhance your colleague’s engagement and motivation. Additionally, it involves connecting with aspects of your job that you find meaningful, interesting, and enjoyable to cultivate a deeper sense of purpose. If you’re in a toxic work environment and this situation persists for an extended period, it can be challenging to find meaning, and it may be time to explore other opportunities.

3. Emotion is Part of the Equation: By being aware of and acknowledging your feelings, you can make better decisions. This involves processing and regulating your emotions (or temporarily setting them aside) so that they don’t negatively impact your actions and interactions.

4. Psychological Safety First: This is when everyone in the group feels they can suggest ideas, admit mistakes, and take risks without fear of embarrassment or punishment. One suggestion is for leaders and their teams to set aside time during meetings to discuss challenges and what’s not going well. Another idea is for managers to share their own vulnerability, mistakes, and lessons learned with their teams.

5. Your Feelings Aren’t Facts: Our feelings, reactions, judgments, and conclusions are often based on false assumptions. Make sure to give yourself enough space and time to check your assumptions and interpretations before responding.

6. Emotional Culture Cascades from You: Emotions have a way of spreading, even among people who don’t know each other. Consequently, we all share the responsibility of being mindful of and regulating our own emotions.

7. Be Selectively Vulnerable: To maintain professionalism and enhance effectiveness, it’s crucial for everyone to carefully choose the emotions they reveal and the people with whom they share them. Leaders, in particular, bear the responsibility of thoughtfully selecting the emotions they convey to their teams and providing a positive direction to keep colleagues motivated and engaged.

When it comes to emotions at work and in life, I found it fascinating to learn that women are biologically wired to shed more tears than men. Under a microscope, cells from women’s tear glands exhibit distinct differences from those of men – women have shallower tear ducts, which is why women tend to cry more easily than men. Understanding this biological difference can help us create a more inclusive work environment where emotions are recognized as a natural part of human expression. This in turn, contributes to building a more supportive workplace culture that benefits men and women.

A Deeper Dive Into Emotions at Work

• Click here to learn more about the book “No Hard Feelings: The Secret Power of Embracing Emotions at Work” co-authored by Liz Fosslien and Mollie West Duffy.

• Click here to learn more about the book”Big Feelings: How to Be Okay When Things Are Not Okay” co-authored by Liz Fosslien and Mollie West Duffy.

• Click here to listen to How to Handle Your Emotions at Work | Liz Fosslien and Mollie West Duffy on Ten Percent Happier with Dan Harris (90 minutes).