For the world to be better,
people are going to have to be better.
I have to be better. 
You have to be better.
We have to be as good as we can be, and 
encourage everyone around us to be better, and
work to make the world as good as we can during this brief life.
– Norman Fischer, Everyday Zen podcast 6/9/22

Recently, client leaders have been complaining about colleagues who are behaving in unacceptable ways … peers talking behind colleagues’ backs, colleagues being more concerned about personal agendas than doing the right thing by teammates and the company, and partners not following through on their commitments.

Let’s face it, people can be difficult. While we need others, often nothing is more troublesome than managing and getting along with others. Conflict is not the exception in human relations, it’s the rule. And unfortunately, that’s never going to change. We can’t fix, transform, or change others. The best we can hope for is by showing up as our best; we can inspire others to do the same.

As a leader, it comes down to taking time to reflect and having effective practices, so you show up as your best self – someone who is present, grounded, and compassionate – when dealing with difficult people – and hopefully elevate others.

When facing difficulties, the effective leader asks:

• How can I best face this difficult situation?
• What practices will keep me more present, grounded, and compassionate in this situation?
• Where should I put my energy?
• How might I avoid unnecessary drama?
• What do I have control over to improve the situation?
• Who can help me?
• What practices, frameworks, tools, models, etc. might help?
• What do I NOT have control over? What must I let go or accept?
• What might I learn about others and myself?

When facing difficulties, the ineffective leader asks:

• Who has wronged me? Who can I blame?
• How can I show others that I’m a victim of wrongdoing?
• How can I punish those who have caused my suffering?

Additional Resources

• Click here for the Everyday Zen podcast with Norman Fischer on Thich Nhat Hanh’s Basic Teachings – Part 6 – “Heart of the Buddhas Teachings”