Clients often share some version of the following: “I often wonder to myself – does my manager act that way because she’s a jerk and doesn’t care OR is she is just oblivious?”

Which one are you? Uncaring or unaware? Your colleagues may be wondering the same thing….

Great leaders spend time reflecting not only on their own feelings but also on how their actions impact others.

Clients have had success using the following emotional intelligence framework to self reflect, think about others, and journal. They write down what they’re noticing each day and review every week – looking for patterns and trends. The big win in developing emotional intelligence is stronger leadership presence and improved working relationships.

Self-awareness

• What emotions am I experiencing?
• How am I behaving towards others?

Self-management  

• What can I do to manage my own emotional state so that I am keeping disruptive emotions and impulses in check?
• How can I best manage my behaviors towards others so that there is a positive outcome?
• In this situation, is reacting the best reaction?

Social awareness

• What do I notice about others? How aware am I of their feelings, needs, and concerns?
• How are my behaviors are impacting others around me?

Relationship management

• What am I doing (e.g., coaching, mentoring, collaborating, etc.) to contribute to better relationships with my colleagues?

This blog is part of a Mindful Leadership series: A mindful leader is someone who brings out the best in one’s self and others by showing up compassionate, present, and grounded in all situations – especially challenging ones.